thankful new beginnings

What a whirlwind of a week. To think that this time last week I was packing my life into two fifty pound(ish) bags to fly across the world in two days time is insane. Let me tell you, the past nearly FIVE (what the heck) days in Sydney have been nothing short of a dream. I had the greatest welcoming committee of all time, my flatmates are seriously DREAM GIRLS, I have encountered and been helped by countless generous, caring, selfless strangers and this is only just the start.

I never would've dreamed this time last year that I would be in this place, both location but also spiritually, emotionally and mentally. I wanted a new beginning so badly; I was waiting and hoping that something would give and change, that my life would suddenly have meaning and purpose and that I would be catapulted forward. This time last year I was recovering from a summer riddled with anxiety attacks that nearly took me out but I was still a few months out from a diagnosis that helped bring clarity and healing to years worth of damage.

A year ago I had no idea what was coming. I had no idea that this was just the beginning.

The past nine months especially have been one big Come-To-Jesus moment. I have never been so reckless but felt so much peace. By that I mean: I am not the person who calmly moves across the world, the one who trusts Jesus in everything, even when it seems impossible. I am timid, I am type-A and a planner if there ever was one, I like my bed, stability and a detailed schedule of the next day, month, year... During this time I have felt myself throw my fears, desires, hopes, dreams and plans at God, hurling my worries and insecurities at His feet. In doing so I have found out so much about myself and in doing so I have healed and felt hope and wholeness. Likewise,  I have never been so in awe of the God I serve, watching as He reveals more and more of who He is to me, while holding me so gently and changing me to the core.

And this is just the beginning.

Today as I wandered the streets of Sydney, my new home, my new beginning I stopped and began reading my bible. The Harbor on my back and the sun glinting off the windows of the Opera House, I stumbled across this verse in Psalms and underneath my sunglasses my eyes began watering. It hit so close to home and I felt like it was the last nine months summarized in Psalm 30. I chose to share the Message version of the verse because it sort of felt like my heart cry from the past few months put into word:

[ 2-3"God, my God, I yelled for help and you put me together. God, you pulled me out of the grave, gave me another chance at life when I was down-and-out... 5 The nights of crying your eyes out give way to days of laugher... 11-12  You did it: you changed wild lament into whirling dance; You ripped off my black mourning band and decked me with wildflowers. I'm about to burst with song; I can't keep quiet about you. God, my God, I can't thank you enough.]

So today I'm thanking God, not just because I'm sitting in a dreamland listening to my flatmate sing Wrecking Ball as she pretends to be Yoda. But because I'm thankful for a God who first rescued me thousands of years ago by dying on a cross, who didn't abandon me a year ago and who continues to rescue me everyday.

Thank you Jesus, I am so thankful for this new beginning.