thankful.

There are a lot of things they tell you before you move away from home, especially to another country: You'll be homesick, you'll cry, you'll miss your mom and sister, it will be hard, you'll have fun, one day you'll snap and everything will make you want to scream, you'll cry when you see a dog that reminds you of one time you had a stuffed animal that looked sort of like that dog.

It's weird.

What they neglect to tell you are how difficult holidays are. I know, poor little American, missing her misguided Thanksgiving holiday as she lives it up in Sydney Australia. I'm terrible. But in all honesty this was a lot more difficult then I expected and the weeks leading up to Thanksgiving have been full of apprehension and anxiety and sadness. Not overwhelming amounts, but the sorts that unexpectedly come up and sort of take your breath away, disorienting you for a few moments. Earlier this week I decided to, for every moment I felt homesick or down and out about being away from home, list things I'm thankful for until my attitude changes. 

Because what they also neglect to tell you is how much more thankful you become when you move away from home, you appreciate stupid things like an additional $5 in your bank account to buy lunch meat instead of ramen (TRUTH DOE) or finding a wrinkled shirt in the bottom of your suitcase you forgot about, but you also have a deeper appreciation for little things like spending an entire chunk of time, whether days or hours, with your family and of course green bean casserole. 

So today I'm choosing to be thankful, because this little life of mine is pretty great and although I miss Washington something fierce, I count myself as one of the luckiest girls in the world.

I'm thankful for Australian friends who are choosing to spend their last night of pre-folio freedom eating a "Thanksgiving" meal with me because they didn't want me to be alone. I'm thankful that I was privileged enough to study abroad for 3.5 months only to spend another 1.5 months with my sister and her family in China and the Philippines. I'm thankful for my roommates, who I can't write about because I'll cry. I'm thankful for a dad who answered my call at 5:30 am (his time) the other day and chatted with me for 45 minutes when I was homesick. (And who gets to play one more week of high school football in the semi-finals game. GO MUSTANGS!) I'm thankful that I was blessed with an experience that was infinitely better then I had imagined or hoped for, one that I was convinced would be a semi-flop but has been, honestly and truly, a testament to the goodness and thoughtfulness of our God and His intentional nature. I'm thankful for teachers who have taken the time to get to know me and encourage me to pursue my talents and giftings and let me do silly assignments on Kanye West. I'm thankful for Sydney and it's sunshine and rain and beaches and accents. I'm thankful for Justin Bieber for fueling my schoolwork the past few weeks with his new album (WHAT HAVE I BECOME?!)(Honorable mentions: Ellie Goulding, Justin Timberlake, Kanye, Sylvan Esso and Troye Sivan). I'm thankful for the past year and how radically different I am. How the other day a classmate said: "You are always so joyful. How are you always full of so much joy?" And I nearly cried because last year I was the furthest thing from joyful and now I can feel the joy of the Lord coursing through me. His love for me and His grace the past year have sustained me and shaped me and I'm so thankful that I serve a God who sees my pain and says: 'I love you enough to not leave you this way.' I'm thankful for dance parties, Mad Mex, ramen, Full House, When Harry Met Sally, Facetime, Shillington College and my friends. I'm thankful for my family, who love me enough to cheer me on even though they're far away, who encourage me and tell me they miss me and still include me in their lives so I don't feel so bad for being gone so long. I'm thankful that two weeks from today Erik will be here and we will be celebrating GRADUATION! (!!!!!!!!) I'm thankful for so much, so much so that my heart is bursting into a million little pieces.

Happy Thanksgiving friends! From all the way Down Unda' I hope that your day is filled with those you love most along with laughter, memories, turkey and a heart that is reminded to be thankful every day, every season and every moment. My challenge to you is the same one I have to really fight towards every day: To find something to be thankful for, ALWAYS. It may be hidden or silly or minuscule, but I promise it's there. Even if it's a new sponge in the sink that your roommate thoughtfully replaced because the other was stinky and a glorified petri dish. (#adultlife)

"Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good; His love endures forever."

[1 Chronicles 16:34]